Coming Back
It has been a long time. And within that time life has changed. It always does for me; sometimes for good, sometimes otherwise. But either way, it’s always a 180 degrees turn. To make it a full 360, I have to put in double of the effort; because you see, half my work gets undone mid way, due to that odd 180 degrees turn. Making a full 360+180 isn’t always easy. It doesn’t come cheap either. At times, people don’t understand you. Or they do, just that, it isn’t what you would have them understand. At other times, people wouldn’t so much as bother themselves with the pain of trying to understand some alien character, who has moved half way behind; after all, why should anyone care about a loser who wants to be a winner, who wins at times, but ends up losing anyway. Whether it’s battles or people, you have to lose it at one point or the other. Oftentimes, I have walked along those rusty paths that creak out a million shattered dreams under a footfall, as you try in vain to redeem that pair of broken wings that once used to take you higher; and as I have walked, I have only realized again and again that for every feather you find again, you lose a thousand grains of your heart. Well, that will hurt, and you have to choose. Sometimes you just cannot choose. At other times you have to weigh the expenses. Would you rather move 180 degrees forward and cover half the distance that you need to, or would you go back a single foot and let those you love be content? Question is, why should you let someone be so content? ‘Cause you love the person? But then you love yourself as well. Oh, well, the world only always called you selfish, so who cares anyway? You do. Because contrary to what all that’s external to you might think, you do have a heart and would readily allow it to suffer pain, if that would bring a small smile on the faces of those you want to see smile. So there goes- your work increases again. And in any case, it’s just a little more work. How does it matter? It does when all these little things add up, because fortunately or unfortunately, you care too much. Much too much to permit selfishness to take the better of your heart. And so goes on the oddly-crafted story of your 360 degrees…was that, 360+180? Either way, it’s been a mammoth task. And now I am where I should have been. Or at any rate, where I would have wanted to be. Once again, I have a choice; once again, people hail me the winner, not so much because they believe it, as because they have to. Courtesy demands it, you see! But I happened to cease caring about all that goody-goody-ness long back; I care. But not about those who think they care; or so I am led to believe. Right now, I have come full circle. I know, I might have to go back along those lines once again, perhaps once too often, but then this is the circle of life, and I am going to continue this way, no matter how long it takes me…. What was that about Einstein saying something about God not playing dice? Oh well, guess the man would have wanted to put God into some theory as well. But you see, like the man said, “God does not play dice”. God knew what he was doing, and I believe he knows it now as well. Only I wish I could talk to Einstein someday!
posted by the transient twilight @ 3:36 pm
1 Comments:
I may be a stranger to u...bt thn believe me...this artcle of urs...is one of the best articles ive eva cum across...it was a pleasure to read ur article...seriously, awesome piece of writin...it answers to all the questions tht deal wid aspirin fr the success in spreadin happiness all around...seriously hats off to ur article....keep smilin:)...Avec beaucoup amour~Akansha.
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